4 October 2003

0855 - Home

Alright! I'm up, clean, and ready to go. It's LanWar weekend, and my buddies should be here any minute to pick me up. Oh... There's The Geekmobile now...

0905 - In The Geekmobile

We're off to Louisville. Team Nexlia's computers are loaded into the back of this old brown conversion van. David "Zanthian" Braud is driving The Geekmobile, and "Crazy" Joe Lloyd is his navigator. I'm sitting in the back alongside Rob "Guy Hoosdum" Updegrove. Ben "Colgere" Bastin is following behind in his black Tracker.

Crazy Joe just turned around and told me that he needs my boots, my clothes, and my motorcycle. I'm not impressed.

Crazy Joe as Aahhnold

0936 - In The Geekmobile

The trip from Northern Kentucky to Louisville is about an hour and a half. We've been passing the driving time talking about what games we want to play when we get there. Halo seems to be the consensus. We all plan to buy it soon, but as we don't have it yet. We're hoping to find a copy of the game and a CD crack so that we can try it out. Otherwise, we'll get in some classic GTA2 action, and some Settlers IV, which we all have copies of already.

Oh Noes!

I just realized that I wont be able to play any Puzzle Pirates, cause there is no internet connection at LanWar! Oh well, I'm sure that I can make it for a couple days.

1020 - In The Geekmobile

We've been discussing the benefits of Palm OS vs. Pocket PC. I like my Palm Zire. It does everything that I need it to do, and it didn't cost much. Guy Hoosdum has a Clie, but he says that he wants to get a Pocket PC of some kind because it has better programs, and better handwriting recognition. I asked him if it's worth the extra expense, especially considering that he barely uses his Clie. He argued that he would use it more if it was better. I said "Bah!", and left it at that.

1050 - In The Geekmobile

We're here at LSU, and as we were pulling up we saw a bus drive by that said "Lamers" on the side. It was pulling away from the convention hall, as if it was dropping people off! Imagine a bus of lamers being dropped off at a gaming convention! It was the funniest thing. I tried to get a picture, but my camera was too slow to take the shot... I wish I'd gotten a picture...

1055 - In The Geekmobile

So, we can see the convention hall from here, but there is a railway track between us and it, and there's a train on that track, and that train is not moving. For once, I thought we were gonna be on time... While waiting on the train, I looked back to see if Colgere was still behind us. I hadn't thought to check the whole way down. He was there, but he looked pretty bored.

Colgere looks bored in his Tracker behind us.

1220 - The Hall

Alright, we're checked in, and it's time to set up. The hall is pretty big. I think it must be a cafeteria of sorts during the week. The room is filled with old wooden tables that are splintering and covered in several layers of chocolate-brown paint. The lights over-head are yellow, and not all quite the same shade. It gives the place a sterile feel, but that doesn't last long. The windowed walls are completely covered in black tarpaulin, so that when everyone is set-up, and the lights go out, nothing will distract you from your game. I look over to the Tarps, and note that someone has written 'ANUS' upside-down with duct-tape, very high on the tarp...

he floor is strategically covered in heavy cables, in order that every gamer can be assured the power and network connection that he/she needs. At the far end of the room from where Team Nexlia will be sitting, is a large projection screen. Music videos, announcements, and other important stuff will be shown there, but we don't really care about that stuff, so we always sit as far from the speakers as we can.

Our friends, Sharky and GundamBoy were driving separately, and they haven't arrived yet. They usually beat us here; I wonder what held them up.

The lights are still on as the gamers check in and set up.

1230 - The Hall

All of our stuff is set-up, and it's time to test the network. We're playing GTA2 to warm up, and I'm already getting slaughtered. My seat is at the end of a row. Crazy Joe is to my left, and Guy is across the table from me. We also each already grabbed our cases of Bawls. The cases are to take home, they have to last until next LanWar, as this is the only time we can get it. The ones that we drink here, we'll buy from the cooler up front. Unfortunately, the jokes have already begun.

"Who stole my Bawls?" Guy Hoosdum cried out.

Zanthian called back, "Not me! I've got mine in my pants!", while placing a bottle in his pocket.

This will go on all weekend.

1442 - The Hall

The lights have gone out, finally, as we decide that we've had enough GTA2. Guy just declared that my video driver was out of date, but that he happens to have a new one for me on disk. He's taken it upon himself to install it on my system, which is fine by me, it's given me a few moments to look around the room.

As I walked around, I noticed a few more girls than usual, but everything else seems about on par with past LanWars. When I returned to my seat, Guy was done. I sat down, and my mouse cursor went instinctively toward the Puzzle Pirates icon, I was thinking that I could check on my clothing orders, and maybe do some pillaging, but alas, I remembered, just before clicking, that I could not play.

Sharky and GundamBoy have arrived. They slept too late.

Guy Hoosdum takes it upon himself to update my video drivers.

1501 - The Hall

We've decided to play some more GTA2, the game is addictive in it's way, and it's helping stave off my Puzzle Pirates withdrawal.

1520 - The Hall

No more GTA2. Guy went and got in the tank, and started killing everyone. There's only the one tank, so we have a standing agreement not to use it at all. When they saw the tank, everyone quit, and said that they were tired of it. I'm going for a quick walk...

The view from the second floor of the hall, showing the garage, the railway, and the 'Tunnel of Doom'.

A group of 'soldiers' plans their next 'Battlefield 1942' match in the lobby.

1602 - The Hall

Zanthian found a copy of Halo! and it's already cracked. We're all installing it now, I can't wait to play. It's supposed to have all kinds of new features over the Xbox version.

1613 - The Hall

Damnit! I can't get Halo to work...

Everyone is playing without me, I guess I just have to try and reinstall it.

From left to right: GundamBoy, Sharky, Zanthian, and Guy Hoosdum happily play Halo without me.

Crazy Joe (left) and Colgere (right) happily play Halo without me.

1644 - The Hall

Arrghh!

I've reinstalled Halo four times now, on the off chance that it might suddenly work. I don't know what to do...

Guy thinks that it might be my operating system, since I'm the only one who's still running WindowsME. But, I don't like XP, and besides, it may take hours to install a new OS! I hate when stuff like this doesn't just work, it's so frustrating!

While I've been installing, I've been listening to the team sitting behind me plan their participation in the Battlefield 1942 tourney. They've got print outs of the maps to be used, and matching t-shirts. They've been talking in a huddle in the corner for near an hour already. Maybe Team Nexlia should think about matching shirts.

Team 'Raging Platypi' wear matching shirts that depict a Platypus with sharp teeth and claws.

1708 - The Hall

I got so pissed off, that I finally asked Guy for his WindowsXP disk. I'm reading a book now while I wait for it to install.

Great! I came to LanWar to read a book!

Team Nexlia takes a short break from Halo, while Guy volunteers to supervise the beginning of my XP install.

1735 - The Hall

Okay... I'm very frustrated, but trying to remain calm... My computer just froze, a half-hour into the XP install. So, I've backed up my important files on CD, and I'm trying again. It's not helping at all that Guy and Zanthian keep on shouting things like, "Holy shit, this is the best game ever!!".

Yea, thanks guys...

Zanthian just stood up and declared that he is tired of Halo now, and that he'd like to go to Taco Bell, So we're going to Taco Bell.

From left to right: Sharky, Guy Hoosdum, Crazy Joe, Colgere, and Zanthian lean against a rail on the way to Taco Bell.

Team Nexlia eats at the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut near LSU.

1804 - The Hall

We're back from Taco bell, and my system is still installing XP.

On the way back from the restaurant, we saw a sign in front of a book store, that said "ALL GREEK 30% OFF". Guy walked up to it and moved one of the letters. "Take a picture" he said, standing by it, so I did.

Crazy Joe (left) and Guy Hoosdum (right) stand by the modified book store sign.

1946 - The Hall

XP is STILL installing, and I'm tired of reading this book. I'm going to walk around to see what everybody else is doing..

A stack of matching server boxes hum away on 'server row' where attendees can place their non-gamming rigs.

A group of darkly dressed gamers turn up in the lobby for information about a 'Dance Dance Revolution' tourney that will take place later.

2034 - The Hall

YES! Finally! Windows is finished, and Halo is working! Yaaa!

This is so cool! The addition of the planes to the multi-player game is the best part. Now, if you pick the right level, you can have any kind-of transportation that you need. There's the jeep, the hover-skimmer, the tank, and the plane. Some of the levels that don't have vehicles in them are kind-of tedious, but it's still really fun, and it's sooo much better than the Xbox!

I don't think I'd have a problem just playing this game the whole rest of the weekend. It was even worth the six-and-a-half hour wait.

2141 - Walking to The Geekmobile

Well, everybody started to get restless again, so we're going for another walk. Also, the other three guys who rode in The Geekmobile want to get their pillows from the back, so that they can sleep when that time comes.

I guess our walk is taking us to our van. It's parked in a gravel lot at the base of the garage, on the other side of the railway.

2207 - The Hall

Were back, and the general consensus is more Halo, so who am I to argue.

Right now, were waiting for Guy and Crazy Joe to get back from the bathroom. While we were out walking, we noticed that someone had created an easy entrance to the garage from the gravel lot, so we moved The Geekmobile up to the top level, right across from the Tunnel of Doom.

While we were in the van, I tried to surprise Guy with the camera, but my camera was so slow to take the picture that he had to fake his surprise...

On the way back, just as we were descending the elevator that led down to the ground from the end of the Tunnel, Guy and I spotted something at the same time, over in a nearby parking lot. Together we exclaimed, "It's the Lamers bus!" Crazy Joe was confused for a second, and Guy explained, "It's the Lamers bus, over there," he pointed "It's that bus that we saw on the way in," he turned to me, "we've got to get over there!"

We were separated from the other parking lot by a fence, so we looked around, and noted that our convention hall had an exit into that parking lot. We went inside, and tried to go in that direction, but we ran into a hallway that seemed to be used for storage. There were stacks of chairs and tables, and a plastic tree off to one side, and at the end: a locked door.

We went back to the lobby, and went up a level, to try a parallel hallway on the other level, it worked. We were on the other side, and could see our way to reach the parking lot with the bus.

I got out there, and started to take pictures. At one point, I asked Guy to take a picture of me next to the bus. As I handed him the camera, an older gentleman rounded the front of the bus. It was the driver, we hadn't realized that anyone was in the bus, we had been laughing pretty loud, and maybe we woke him up.

He asked us what we were up to, so I took a few moments to explain that his bus was very funny to us, because we were here for a gaming convention, and in the gaming world, a 'lamer' is some one who has bad video game form, or is a bad sportsman. He said that he understood how that would be funny, and he didn't stop us from taking more pictures.

As we were walking back to the building, I turned quickly and asked him whom had he driven here. "A girls volleyball team" he said, and went back up into his bus.

I turned to Guy and said, "I wonder what kind of players they are."

When we got back to our seats, everybody else was already playing Halo again.

Some one had made it easy for us to get from the gravel lot into the garage.

Guy Hoosdum fakes an expression of surprise for my camera.

The Tunnel of Doom at night.

A back hallway used for storage at the convention hall

The back of the Lamers bus reads: www.golamers.com

The Lamers bus.

The operating label on the side of the bus reads: Lamers bus lines inc. Green Bay, WI MC-146955 US DOT0100115

Guy takes the shot as I pose next to the Lamers bus.

5 October 2003

0005 - The Hall

Colgere and I were supposed to play in a Super Smash Brothers Melee tourney at midnight, but it's been delayed because the tourney organizer forgot two of his four controllers, and some one who lives close is driving home to get a couple.

Everybody is starting to tire out, so we're done with Halo for now. I think Crazy Joe was starting to turn into a zombie, but he got better after a few minutes. I'm going to grab another Bawls from the front, and check out the Halo single player, while I wait for our SSBM tourney to begin.

Zanthian looks on as Crazy Joe begins transformation to his zombie state.

0235 - The Hall

Well, we're out of that tourney. We were beaten in our first match. Colgere was playing as Link, and I was Young Link. I don't think that there was enough variety to our team. If Colgere had chosen Samus, who I believe is his best Character, then maybe we could have done better, but who knows. Almost a bigger factor in our loss was that we were the blue team and the opponents were green, and also had a Link on their team. I lost three out of five of my lives, cause I lost track of which Link was me, and I fell off of the level, trying to control the wrong one. Oh well... Then we had a chance to buy back into the second round by sending a representative of our team into a three player free-for-all between the losers from the first round. Colgere went in, and had to keep his Link character, because he had already used him in the first round. He lost to someone playing as Samus. After we were knocked out, I went back to my seat to play some more Halo single-player, but Colgere is still over there, waiting to play some unrated games after the tourney is totally over...

Zanthian just declared that it's bed time for him. As I write this he's crawling under the table with his pillow.

As more players dropped off under the tables, it became easier to see their screens from the side of the room.

0418 - The Hall

I'm starting to go slowly mad...

This seems to happen every LanWar, I call it: LanWar limbo.

It's a lull, during which time nothing is really going on. Everyone around me is too tired to play any games, but they don't want to waste any time with sleep. Guy is downloading desktop wallpapers from someone else on the network, and Crazy Joe just landed on his keyboard. I don't think he felt it. Sharky and GundamBoy are playing Unreal Tournament, which I hate, and Colgere is still playing SSBM with the guys we lost to, on the other side of the room.

This year the limbo is compounded by my Puzzle Pirates withdrawal. I spent fully five minutes clicking on the logon button, watching it not work, before Crazy Joe came over and forced me to stop. "No PP!" he shouted. This caused several people in the room to turn their heads, but it didn't keep their attention for long.

That does however remind me that I haven't been to the restroom since we got here...

0436 - The Hall

When I got back from the Restroom, Guy had moved to the floor at the end of the table where he slept against his body pillow, Sharky was nowhere around, and Colgere was standing over his chair just staring at his screen; it was blank. I asked him what was up.

"I'm not feeling well," he said.

"What brought it on?" I asked.

"I wasn't feeling well all day," he told me, "but I didn't want to miss LanWar."

"get some sleep," I said, "I'm sure you'll feel better."

"No," he said, "I think I'm done."

At that, he started to unplug the cables from the back of his computer case. There was nothing I could do. One of us wasn't going to make it, and all I could do was watch. It's not fun to watch a friend pack-up early. I'm just glad no one else was awake to see it.

When he was all undone, he turned to me, "Sorry about the tourney" he said.

"It's not your fault," I told him, "Next time we'll actually practice first".

He nodded. "Good night" he said.

"Drive safe," I told him.

He nodded again as he picked up his monitor, walked toward the front of the room, and disappeared into the darkness. A few moments later, I saw the light of the lobby as the front door was opened. His silhouette moved through the bar of light, Then the door closed again, and he was gone.

0610 - In The Geekmobile

I think I blacked out for a little while...

I must have been shouting about Puzzle Pirates, cause Crazy Joe woke from his keyboard nap, and yelled at me again, "No, PP!". He then took his pillow over the the end of the table, and fell asleep at Guy Hoosdum's feet.

I decided that it was time for me to rest too. I asked Crazy Joe where the keys to The Geekmobile were, and he didn't respond. I kicked him and asked again. "Oww," he said, and pointed at Zanthian on the floor under the table. I went over to Zanthian's space, and looked around on the desk, then I started looking in the bag that he brought his peripherals in. He woke up, which surprised me, cause he's usually a very sound sleeper.

"What are you looking for?" he asked me.

"The keys," I said. He reached into his pants pocket, got out the keys, and handed them to me. "How can you sleep with keys in your pocket?" I asked him.

"How would you sleep without the keys in someone's pocket?" he asked me in return.

I didn't answer, instead, I stood up, and walked out toward the garage. On my way out, I noticed someone was walking around, covered in glowing Nvidia promo stickers. He would have been tough to miss.

On a bet, a gamer has allowed his friends to cover him almost completely with Nvidia promo stickers.

0632 - In The Geekmobile

I've folded out the back seat in The Geekmobile, but I can't sleep. It's freezing in this van. I don't understand how it was 85 degrees this afternoon, and now it's freakin' freezing!

I tried to sit up front with the heat on for a little while, but it wouldn't heat up, and I was afraid I'd fall asleep with the van on if it did, so I stopped...

I hope I can get some rest.

0836 - The Hall

I must have dozed off right after that last entry, and the sun has already warmed the air some, so I'm not so uncomfortable anymore. When I got back into the hall everyone else was just getting up, so I timed that pretty well.

Every LanWar at around nine in the morning, they start to blast loud music into the hall and shout over the microphones to wake everyone up. We're all already up, but we think that the wake up call is very irritating anyway, so we decide to take this opportunity to breakfast.

0855 - McDonald's

I had forgotten my wallet back in the hall, so I borrowed a few bucks from Crazy Joe, so that I could order their big breakfast platter, with eggs, flapjacks, biscuit, hash brown, and a piece of burnt sausage. It was quite tasty. Now we're just waiting for Guy to finish his meal before we head back.

We've decided to start the morning with some Settlers IV to warm us up for the day.

1045 - The Hall

As our Settlers game finishes (Crazy Joe and I beat Zanthian and Guy by just one category in econ mode), we hear an announcement over the PA system. There will be a Duct-Tape competition. Teams will have to make a structure out of entirely duct-tape that matches criteria given by the LanWar director. This, we couldn't pass up. There are eight teams in the contest, and we have forty-five minutes to make the tallest, free-standing duct-tape structure. The prize is a case of Bawls.

From left to right: Zanthian, GundamBoy, Crazy Joe, Sharky, and Guy Hoosdum discuss plans for the Duct-tape competition.

1133 - The Hall

Our time is up, and we've done the best we can. My idea was to make a tower of domes made from a rings of tape, and a tape crossbars, but the group didn't agree that that would be stable enough. Guy suggested that we keep the ring idea, but that we loose the crossbar, and just stack the rings like a pyramid. This was agreed on, and we started an assembly line of ring production and placement. Sharky and Zanthian cut the strips, Crazy Joe and I folded them into rings, and GundamBoy and Guy Hoosdum stacked the pyramid. As time ran out, we ran out of tape, and used some scraps to make a flag for the top.

There are three teams with higher structures than us, but we gave it a good try.

Team Nexlia's entry into the duct-tape competition was a little over 2 ft. tall.

1141 - The Hall

As they were being judged, two of the structures that were taller than ours collapsed. One of them used the stacked method that I had originally suggested for our team. Then while ours was being measured, we suddenly heard GundamBoy shout "They touched it! They touched their tower! They're disqualified".

The judge slowly finished measuring our tower, then walked over to the tower GundamBoy was shouting about. The top of the tower had collapsed, but even after that, the tower was still taller than ours. One of the team members had tried to save the tower, and thus broke a rule by touching the tower after the time ran out. The judge had sympathy on the team, saying that, he would have done the same thing.

He declared us the winners, but gave a case of Bawls to the disqualified team as well. GundamBoy looked slighted, but everyone else was happy with the decision. I wish Colgere had been here for it, he would have loved it.

1203 - The Hall

With the excitement of the duct-tape competition over, we've entered into another LanWar limbo state. I try to get some more Halo started, but no one seems interested, so I'm playing through some more of the single-player missions.

Only a few hours left until time to clean up.

1621 - The Hall

We're all packed up and ready to go. We did manage to get in some more Halo multi-player before time ran out, because we knew it would be awhile before we'd get to play that particular game again, since, now we needed to uninstall it, and actually go buy it, so that we can play against each other over the internet. Of course, that's never as much fun as playing the game while we're all in the same room.

1801 - Home

Almost the whole ride back was consumed with talk of Halo, how cool it was, how much better it was than the Xbox version, and how much we wish that they hadn't removed the cooperative play mode (this was the only flaw that we all agreed it had).

This was the most fun LanWar yet. The next one is not until January. I can't wait...

I'm gonna take a shower...

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